Transform your fear around money

Posted by on May 11, 2015 in Uncategorized | 0 comments

Transform your fear around money

S o, how do you TRANSFORM your FEAR or perhaps more accurate to say ‘How do you HEAL your relationship with money?’

The short answer … throw EVERYTHING at it!!! And keep reading to the end because I have a FREE gift for you!!

You might say, I don’t need to heal my relationship with money… I have a really good income and a really good life and have no fear or anxiety where money is concerned and if that’s the case, HAPPY DAYS.. you need read no further!! :)

However, what I would say is that in all of the years working with clients and their finances, I don’t think I’ve ever met a single woman (or man) who has a completely well balanced relationship with money. For many, there’s an underlying sense of fear, unease and anxiety (irrespective of how much there is in the bank)!

Look, here’s the thing… money isn’t everything but it does give us CHOICE about how we want to live our lives. We live in a society where we use money as a means of exchange and so it makes sense to pay a LOT of attention to it…

You’d think a financial adviser who earned reasonable money and had plenty of knowledge about finance would have her money life completely sorted and all financial ducks in a row! Well not entirely.. Like many of my friends and colleagues, much of my 20’s and into my 30’s were spent living for the moment with little thought for the future.

I worked in financial services for approximately 20 years (of which I was a financial adviser for over 15 of those) but it was only 6 years ago that I really started to pay attention to my money and more importantly to my relationship with money because up until that point I didn’t have one!

You know those relationships with a blokes where you pay them no attention so they go elsewhere… well, that was me and money!!! Other than putting a small amount away in a pension (because that’s what I was told I should do!!) I just earned it and spent it, earned it and spent it … I had little respect for money and therefore it just didn’t hang around for long!

But the thing is, this can all change and there’s no reason that you should take 6 years (or more) figuring it out for yourself… I’m not going to say that there’s a secret ingredient here because in truth, we all have our own individual path to walk and if we’re doing life right, we’re constantly growing and evolving and it’s every persons responsibility to figure out their own way.

However, there are ways to short-cut the process so that you don’t spend as long as I did trying to figure it all out, so that you can make decisions based on what you WANT and not based upon how much money you have in your bank account!! Because the truth of it is, is that most people are allowing money to make their decisions for them!

I’m not going to pretend that I have all the answers but what I will say is that I’ve lived and breathed this subject for the whole of my working life… I walk my talk, I know how to transform the FEAR around money and I don’t have the Sunday night dread because I know that I get to choose how I want to spend every day with my desire for freedom at the centre of everything I do and that’s not always easy!!!

However, it is worth it and so I’d like to share some of what I’ve learned along the way… both throughout my own personal journey and through what I’ve seen with my clients. One thing is for sure, how we do MONEY is how we do LIFE and so as far as I can see there’s no more important subject to learn!

Side note, When I say learn about money I don’t necessarily mean learning about investment products, spreadsheets and cash flow forecasting. Although important subjects to learn, what I mean is that you need to learn what the meaning of money is to YOU!! What are YOUR beliefs and how have your experiences with money been shaped by these beliefs? What kind of life do YOU want to create for yourself? The numbers are certainly part of it but the truth is that without the inner work or having the correct foundations in place, the best financial plan in the world will fail miserably!!!

Anyway, here’s my thoughts:

  • Your current financial situation is purely a reflection of what you have going on inside. If you have challenges in your financial life, then you’re out of alignment. You have to find that place of alignment … without it, life will be harder than it needs to be. The aim is to figure out who you truly are. That can be very different to who you think you are or more importantly who you’ve been told you are! You have to accept where you’re at and take small steps from there… you have to build the mental and spiritual muscle!!! By doing that you switch from unconscious default mode to conscious design mode;
  • The challenges in your life are here for a reason… to teach you something and it’s your job to figure out the lesson, to find the gift in the lesson and to use that gift to move you closer to who you truly are! The truth is that we receive in life, not necessarily what we think we want but what we need! So, if you’re experiencing challenges with your money, you need to figure out the underlying lesson you need to learn and ACT on it;
  • We’ve all inherited messages about money that may or may not be helpful in terms of what we want to create for ourselves. The unhealthy ones result in us forming unwanted, patterns of behaviour that keep the unhelpful beliefs firmly fixed in place.  The basic formula is Beliefs + Thoughts & Accompanying Emotions = Behaviour.  This is the basis of the creative process. The aim is to consciously use this process and the power of the subconscious mind to create the reality you desire. You’re creating your reality based upon the blueprint of what you have in your subconscious mind which means that it’s this blueprint that you need to be working with if you want to change your experience with money.  If you’re unsure about what you have going on in your subconscious, look at the situation you currently find yourself in. That will tell you exactly where your beliefs are currently at;
  • Whether you’re on board with the ‘woo-woo’ stuff or not, you are a vibrational being and as such are each emitting a certain frequency that is attracting back to you circumstances/situations/events that are in alignment with that which you’re sending out. So, if you don’t like what you’re experiencing… you need to constantly be working towards increasing your vibration;
  • No matter how much of the ‘inner work’ you do, you’ll likely mess up again and again. Falling out with yourself isn’t helpful… so you may aswell forgive yourself past money mistakes NOW because we’ve all made them I promise. You’re as perfect in your imperfections as I am in mine and therefore there are no mistakes. Acceptance of who you are and where you are at is the key to moving forward;
  • Affirmations are fine but require a high level of self-belief so you might be saying ‘I am rich..’ and because you don’t believe it are likely to reject it outright which results in focussing on more of that which you don’t want to have (not helpful)!! Our minds are wired for finding solutions so if affirmations aren’t working… Flip it and ask a question instead ie. How am I rich? … Then your mind will search for solutions;
  • Words have power…if you don’t want it, don’t say it. Eliminate the words ‘I can’t afford’ from your vocabulary NOW and re-frame it to something like ‘that’s not a priority for me right now.’
  • Earning a lot of money and/or having a lot of knowledge about money doesn’t necessarily equate to a healthy relationship with money. I have clients driven to earn more and more money to the detriment of everything else including their relationships… Although ‘Secure’ in a financial sense, how much security do they really have??
  • Spending a lot of money doesn’t automatically mean you have an underlying issue or ‘spending problem’. Conscious spending is the key and although for a long time I beat myself up about, how I wasted a lot of money on ‘stuff’, what I also realised was that I do want the nice things in life…. the cocktails in expensive wine bars, the latte every day and no, I’m not going to give that up because some financial guru told me to and yes I DO understand the concept of compounding! I’m still not giving up my latte… I’ll give up something I don’t want instead;
  • Earning more money doesn’t necessarily mean you’ll start to save if saving is something you’ve never done before.. Many of us have the tendency to live up to our means (and beyond) so with this is in mind, it’s the money flow pattern that needs to be addressed as well as the level of income.

So, those are just a few of the lessons I’ve learned along the way but the truth of it is that getting to grips with this stuff isn’t easy and it isn’t always going to feel pleasant. You’re going to have to be prepared to get your hands dirty and get stuck in! Sometimes we have to go into the darkness before we see the light but that’s necessary for making the changes that we want to make!

I’m going to stick my neck out here and say that healing your relationship with money is THE most important thing to be focussing your attention on right NOW!!! When you take control of your money, you take control of your LIFE!!!

So, to begin I’ve created a FREE 40 minute audio which will help you to identify why, despite having done a load of work, you may still be struggling and how to start to identify and shift some of your more unhealthy money scripts and beliefs. All you need to do is enter your details below and you’ll automatically receive your free gift. :) Enjoy!!!

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